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Perpetual conflict is having the same arguments or disagreements over and over again. It can feel exhausting and frustrating to have the same fight day after day with your partner.
Is flooding to blame?
Before you deal with the conflict, it may help to assess if flooding could be getting in your way. Flooding or Diffuse Physiological Arousal is the body’s alarm system to help you escape a perceived threat. When physical harm threatens you, like a speeding car through a crosswalk, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. Adrenaline surges through your body to prepare to fight the threat or get away quickly. Your heart rate increases, your breathing quickens, digestion slows down, blood pressure increases, and it’s all to help you to safety. If a car is about to hit you, this is especially useful as it gives you extra strength and focus to get out of the way. Once you are safe, the adrenaline leaves your body and you begin to relax.
Anxiety is common. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 31.1% of U.S adults experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives.
Anxiety is also on the rise. A CDC survey completed by approximately 5,400 people this past June showed that the prevalence of anxiety symptoms was three times higher than those reported in the second quarter of 2019.
There’s not always a lot of socializing going on in social anxiety, but there’s certainly a lot of thinking. People with social anxiety appear to have developed some very biased ways of thinking that maintain the anxiety over time.
It can hardly be emphasized enough that all viewpoints are subjective. Here we’re not talking about a closed, delimited mathematical system not open to debate. For 2 + 2 will always equal 4, regardless of whether anyone (for who knows what reason) might wish—or will—it to be otherwise.
One of the most powerful ways to calm down from stress or anxiety is to connect and spend time with someone who matters to us. When we spend time with those we let into our inner circle – our closest friends, spouses, family members, or even our favourite beings (human or not) – we have the opportunity to create deeply engrained, positive patterns of comfort that we can access when we are far away from the ones we love.
You’ve read the articles, the books—be mindful, be in the now, live in the present. Yes, it has psychological benefits, yes, it is a matter of training your brain to focus and respond differently. So, you do the right stuff—you are mindful when you are cooking and pay attention to the slicing of the onion; you download a meditation app and use it twice a day for a few weeks. Good for you for trying, but sometimes trying is not quite good enough.
Whether you’re newly together or in a committed partnership trying to find time together, couples always need fresh ideas to make dates enjoyable and worthwhile. When options are limited, this can be difficult.
Are your dates in need of new life? Is your relationship all work and no play? Your choice in dating activity can infuse new energy into the way you connect with each other. Here are some ideas to make your dates more purposeful and put more of whatever you need back into your love life.
We all have those moments when we come unglued. We’ve probably had a few more of those than usual this past year. This time period has tested us in entirely new ways, and more likely than not, we can all recount a recent example of flipping our lid.
It’s the easiest advice in the world to give, and it’s perhaps the hardest advice in the world to follow: “Don’t worry about it.”
It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? “Don’t worry about it.” That’s the kind of clichéd phrase we toss out in conversation a dozen times a day without thinking: “Take it easy,” “keep an eye out,” “go with your gut.” Such platitudes are basically meaningless; they’re also basically harmless; and sometimes they can give you a little nudge in the right direction.